--Barry Bonds only took human growth hormone to limit himself, as he is technically more of a 'behemoth' than a 'human'. He STOPPED taking HGH in 1998 and gained 50 pounds of muscle in a week
--Once, when Barry Bonds ran out of steroids before a playoff game, he called Bill Romanowski and ate him
--In the minor leagues Barry Bonds ran out of oatmeal one morning so he ate a bowl of hot lava intead. when he was done he threw the bowl at the clubhouse cook, shouting "the oatmeal's too bland...AGAIN."
--Barry Bonds once decided to take batting practive backwards. he hit a ball so hard that we went back in time 10 minutes
--Barry Bonds once threatened to kill his mistress
--Barry bonds never messed with 'the clear' or 'the cream'. He injects T-Rex dna into his brain with a syringe made of lightning.
--Barry Bonds once stated "I don't believe half the things I say." Only problem is, Barry Bonds never lies.
--When Barry Bonds was 28, he challenged his father, Bobby Bonds, and his godfather, Willie Mays, to home run derbies followed by fist fights. Neither of them ever played in another major league game
--Once, Barry Bonds told the Milwaukee Brewers he could beat them singlehandedly, and when they demanded he put his money where his mouth is, he won by infinity in the first inning when they intentionally walked every batter
--When Barry Bonds was asked to participate in "Giants Idol", he thought it would be fun to be paula abdul for a day, so he found paula abdul, skinned, scalped, and cleaned her and put her on. to avoid suspicion he replaced her with a signed picture of himself dressed as Paula Abdul for "Giants Idol"
--After his third consecutive surgery on his injured knees, Barry Bonds had a doctor replace his knee caps with atomic bombs, claiming that if he reaggrevated his knees "at least i would blow up the whole fucking world"
--Barry Bonds was born out of wedlock when his father Bobby Bonds impregnated an avalanche.
--Babe Ruth often referred to himself as 'the best hitter until Barry Bonds'